MEN’S SEX AND INTIMACY COUNSELING
Finn is an AASECT Certified Sexuality Counselor and intimacy coach who works with gay, bi, and queer male-identified people across the globe to work toward inner healing, unlock erotic potential, and usher in an evolving sense of confidence and authenticity.
Finn’s coaching is 100% hands-off, and most offerings are virtual, except for retreats.
Check The Calendar for Upcoming Events Here.
FEATURED COURSES
JUST THE TIP
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This course is good for:
New relationships. Relationships in transition to co-habitation. Relationships that need a "tune-up.”
*For this course, you don't need any prior or adjunctive therapy, though it is suggested.
More than ever, gay relationships have become quite challenging because they are naturally riddled with paradox. In some ways, we enjoy more permission to be ourselves, and for many queer people, sexuality is a central facet of personal identification. At the same time, our sexuality has been the very aspect that cost us, when we were young, the necessary foundational acceptance we needed in order to create healthy, fulfilling adult relationships. Like all relationships, gay ones are challenging; yet, we are uniquely burdened by those cultural legacy issues inherited about male bodies, masculinity, shame, and a lack of permission to feel vulnerable. As a result, gay relationships frequently suffer from intimacy issues that can be avoided by learning significant tools to increase relational security while, at the same time, prioritizing sexual expression.
This course addresses:
Which relationship structure is right for me? Whether some type of open relationship or a sexually exclusive relationship.
How to craft unique, mutual agreements about sexuality and eroticism, no matter which relationship structure you choose.
Why self-pleasure can be beneficial for your sexual relationship(s).
Practice effective boundaries.
Managing triggers.
How to frame conflict in order to maximize personal growth.
How to have important difficult conversations.
Learn skills to be a better lover.
DEEP THRUST
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This course is good for:
Partners who deeply love each other but struggle to open all the way. Relationships in good standing yet sense something “missing”. Partners who are ready to dive into a transformative process of self-growth. Those who view partnership as a life path.
*For this course, a history of personal and/or couples therapy is strongly suggested.
Romantic partnerships come with unique gifts and burdens. Additionally, gay relationships carry cultural scars, igniting our collective defenses about masculinity and sex. However, beneath these defenses lies our greatest personal potential. In the depths of our deepest wounds, we can access a pathway to our highest aspirations. Unfortunately, we often spend much of our time in relationships maintaining strategies for personal safety at the expense of abandoned parts of ourselves. Though we long to be met, changing these strategies can feel impossible. Yet, when we shift our mindsets from self-protection to embracing the friction of growth, our partnerships become containers in which we become more whole—capable of withstanding the anxiety of separateness while achieving a more authentic sense of unity.
This course addresses:
Deepening commitment.
Accelerating differentiation.
Effectively harnessing resistance and resentment, tapping into growth.
Crafting unique, mutual agreements about sexuality and eroticism, no matter which relationship structure you choose.
Learning the art of intentional erotic reconditioning: partnered and solo.
Using conflict to access deeper closeness.
Renegotiating boundaries and updating relational patterns.
How to maximize difficult conversations for personal growth.
Learn skills to be a better lover.
Private Sessions (virtual)
Finn coaches individuals, couples, polyamorous networks, and fuck-buddies to:
clarify intentions and set specific goals
learn erotic skills that help to build more peak sexual experiences
identify and cultivate an authentic personal expression of desire
reimagine painful experiences that have blocked full expression
and more
Schedule a 15-minute introductory call to discover if we are a good fit for one another.
Private WORKSHOPS (Live & virtual)
Finn hosts monthly workshops and events that provide gay and queer men a vehicle to increase their sense of connection, expand self awareness, and grow into the fullness of their personal erotic expression.
View the calendar for details and to register.
What People Are Saying
“Finn really helped me with the beginning stages of my complicated relationship that is long distance and open. Feelings of jealousy were creeping in from both of us as our attraction grew. I feel so much better after my sessions with Finn, and I love the way my relationship is unfolding. I now feel I have the right tools in my emotional toolbox to navigate rough waters like these.”
— Will Tantra
“Finn gave us language to become a stronger, closer, more articulate team. And the homework is always very fun 😈. We cannot speak highly enough of him, and we tell everyone about him regardless of sexual orientation or gender. What you get out of this relationship is universal — it’s like therapy with some fun bonuses…or if therapy is a scary word, it’s like discovering some magical, natural, healthy food that tastes like candy.”
— Nick and Andrew Halfhill
“Working with Finn was the greatest gift I gave myself. Finn's expertise and guidance were pivotal in helping me overcome many of my own fears around my own sexuality and intimacy with other men. He pushed me with love and guided me to be more authentic and gentle with myself. He is wise beyond his years, and the tools he taught me are those I will use for a lifetime.”
— Jamie McElmon
I first met Finn on a Himeros.tv set. Having an intimacy coach on a porn set struck me as a strange concept. It certainly was unusual but it turned out to be the beginning of a new chapter in my life. During our one-on-one sessions following the shoot I had a chance to get a deeper understanding of just how fundamental the work Finn does is.
This has been the single best experience I’ve had on my quest to work through past traumas, communicate healthier boundaries and - most of all - cultivate unconditional self-worth. Throughout my experience of therapy I’ve grown very sensitive of being projected onto. Finn doesn’t do that. He listens, with a kind, compassionate ear, and remains fully engaged with the work.
My time with him has made an invaluable contribution to my personal growth, and has led to a lot of healing in my relationship with my mind and body. I also really enjoy his sense of humour. The guy is hilarious.
— Kayden Gray, adult model
