Evil Impulse - Himeros Backstage Discussion with Davey, Finn -Special Guests, Andrew & Heather
Huge thank you to Andrew Gurza and Heather Morrison for chatting with us today and for their contributions to sex education and awareness. The research they have collected demonstrates that over 50% of physically disabled people surveyed struggle to achieve sexual pleasure on their own. And shockingly, no products have been designed with them in mind, despite over 90% of those surveyed wanting one. Together, they have designed the world’s first disability-driven sex toy, a much-needed asset to those with hand limitations. Explore Bump!n.
Evil Impulse
The film: Two men are enjoying a romantic dinner and, unexpectedly, it takes a delightful turn into the darker passions of cruelty and the joy of administering pain to one who will accept it. This shadowy enactment demonstrates an explicit negotiation of consent as well as its imperative elements of container, ritual, practice.
Why I Wrote Evil Impulse
From the lofty towers of our highly polished personas, it is seldom easy to admit to one’s desire to hurt another; to rule over our comrades. Of course it is difficult; I’m not saying it’s easy. After all, we are survivors of a war game that has been played since our births. And many of us have had little choice but to fight back against the wills of our gods, fathers, bullies on playgrounds. These authorities might have extinguished our boyish vulnerabilities had we not deeply buried them behind the walls of our defended psyches. Now, we likely do our best to present a wholesome, likable chap on the outside; however, to be sure, a war has taken place—and we often hide its resultant fractures from even our own conscious selves.
In the corners of our unsocialized minds, each of us harbors a selective crew of little monsters. Though we may never admit it outright, we commonly expose our demons in surprising ways: we may secretly delight in the failure of another; we may call a friend to discuss our terrible dislike of an another; we hurl insults at drivers who impede our tyranny of the road; we shame others for behaviors or traits that appear perilously close to the aching sensitivities within us. Each of us shelters a relentless inner critic, a merciless sadist who would like nothing more than to extinguish our best efforts to thrive in the face of our collective suffering.
I believe that it can be a powerful maneuver to integrate this feature of brutal animalism into a conscious experience of one’s self. Cruelty can be a vehicle to greater awareness and increased compassion. After all, if these monsters are within, why not invite them into a mutually crafted cruelty-fuck? This shift can liberate us, both sexually and spiritually, because in so doing, we cease to construct ourselves against a despicable yet verifiable primordial truth of our existence. Cruelty is a tooth and nail feature of humanity, and we do nothing to heal ourselves when we bypass this fact. We are both ascending consciousness and clawing fucks. To be sure, it is a pathway, not a single event, to integrate dark aspects of our psyches into light, but the reward for this commitment can allow us to experience a union of opposites, the collapse of wrong and right.