Audio-Assisted Self-Pleasure Trance Journey
DJ Trever Gold is more than a DJ - He guides people into deep, erotic trance states.
Orgasm is so much more than a function of our genitals. In fact, it primarily happens in our brains. At the moment of orgasm, our prefrontal cortex stops exerting control over our experience. And that’s a pivotal window of time, an opportunity to enter into a more expansive plane of awareness—if we learn how to more deeply surrender to what comes next. In that sense, orgasm becomes a gateway.
For example, maybe you’ve experienced an emotional release along with an orgasm. Or a spiritual insight. Or a palpable sense of tenderness beneath the surface of your daily body armor. Because of my experience in a male body in a culture that largely extinguishes softness, it is often difficult to fully surrender into that delicate place, a moment of “not-knowing.” Of not “being a man.” However, I’m learning to let go and loving it. The softness I’ve been trained to despise is actually what enhances my connection to both life’s fragility and resilience—transcending the borders of my skin, my body, and my identity.
Sex can facilitate spiritual growth. Desire is a profound gateway to integrating lost parts of ourselves. It takes effort. But it’s also fun! Here’s how:
Make a conscious decision to intentionally work at deconditioning your inherited expectations and wishes, many of which we’ve carried for lifetimes, not realizing how much these hold us back. If you’re up for the challenge, take a look at what—beyond the physical pleasure—you expect sex to deliver to you. Try saying these out loud, and feel into what arises:
I expect sex to prove…That I am worthy. That I belong on the planet. That I have finally proved something. That I am not trapped. That I am not inferior. That I am a real man. That my parents were wrong. That my church was scarring. That I… What? Go ahead, say it out loud.
Open to these places within your own body and heart. What comes next?
One of my favorite guiding Tantric principles asserts:
Follow your desire…with the practiced awareness of what happens when you do
The latter part of that phrase is the spiritually operative piece. What it implies is that paying deep attention to whatever turns you on will lead you to invaluable clues about your highest aspirations as well as your deepest pains.
For most, following desire is easier than practicing awareness. Maybe even a way to escape awareness (which we all do in many ways). For others, because of fear, trauma, and bodily limitations, following desire is not easy.
Use the following self-pleasure exercise to help you tap into the liberatory powers of orgasm. Practice it weekly, maybe journaling what you discover and how your patterns are shifting over time. For an audio-assisted trance journey, use this audio mix, custom-made by the fabulous DJ Trever Gold for your pleasure journey.
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Audio-Assisted Self-Pleasure Trance Journey
tension & Release Practice
Set boundaries. Put a date with yourself on the calendar. Deliberately clear time in order to commune with yourself. Take whatever steps necessary to ensure that outside stressors have as little possible ability to intrude. If you are doing this practice alone, announce to any cohabitating people that you’ll need some space and time in your home, preferably in front of a mirror. If you’re doing this with others, make any needed agreements to uphold this same ethos. Switch phones into Do Not Disturb mode.
Set the vibe. Make lighting adjustments, burn incense, light candles, whatever helps your vibe. Have water already on hand. Sit or lie on a comfortable surface. If you like to use oil/lube, have some nearby for convenience. Ensure that everyone involved has a blindfold to use.
Start your music and get comfortable. Begin your practice by palpating the pelvic floor. Using your fingers, move up and down your cock root and external anal muscles seeking tense areas. Massage them gently and relax them. For many, it takes practice to begin opening the pelvic floor muscles because there can be so much tension there. Freeing these muscles can allow for deeper breathing into the pelvic bowl and more erotic sensations all around and in your cock. As you release these muscles for about 10 minutes, try to feel your inhales expanding the pelvic floor and exhales relaxing it.
Intensive breathwork. When the pelvic floor has awakened and responds to breath, expanding and releasing with inhales and exhales, shift into intensive breath work. Put on your blindfold. Take 30 moderately paced, inhale-focused breaths; expand as much as you can and let your exhales “fall” out of your body. In other words, don’t push them. Just focus on expanding as much as possible with each inhale. At the end of 30 breaths, empty all your air, take one more huge inhale and hold your breath for at least 30 seconds. Then relax completely, roll your hips side to side, releasing any residual body tension. Then repeat this cycle of 30 breaths + hold three more times. Each time you hold your breath, try for longer periods of time. Send the message to your body that you are safe and that you can let go more deeply.
Shaking. Following your last breath hold, keeping your blindfold on, take your time finding your way to standing. Stand firmly on your feet and begin shaking. Be soft in your knees and generate the movement from the pelvic floor up the body. For a few minutes, shake vigorously, using arms, shoulders, and hands. Intensify your breathing, chaotically if desired. This phase can help you begin dissolving into body-led physical movement with a receding sense of “mind.” The idea is to push yourself to your limit of physical exertion, within the limits of your physical sense of safety, and release thinking about what you’re doing, how you look, how to “do it right,” etc. You may find that you begin to trance out just from the shaking alone.
Swaying. Slow your shaking until you are gently swaying—and then barely moving. Coming to a standstill, allow the sensations to freely move around your body and appreciate them before transitioning to sitting cross-legged or lying down. While still blindfolded, gently touch your cock with one hand while using the other hand to touch all over your body. Build connections between your genitals and the rest of your body map. Begin with extremities and work inward. Everywhere you touch has the potential to become erotic. As you stroke yourself, maintain a relaxed body, an open and receptive pelvic floor that is responsive to continuous deep breaths. Sway your body; let the music move you into a synergy of sensual gestures and sounds. This phase can go on for as long as desired before removing your blindfold.
Look. Whenever you’re ready, take off the blindfold. If you are solo, gaze at your eyes in the mirror. If with others, gaze into each other’s eyes. For this specific exercise, resist the temptation to hone in on preferred parts of the other’s body. Stay in a witnessing space, eye to eye. For many men, it can feel challenging to remain in a widely receptive space while also stimulating themselves; resist urges to perform or “push” your experience by performing some kind of sexual script. Erections come and go in this process, so remember that the focus is to witness yourSelf or Other. This helps clear the way for emotional and spiritual insights. You may experience vulnerable sensations and emotions; do your best to allow these to move through you. Keep breathing deeply. Move your body freely. Make sounds. Try to let go of what you’re supposed to look like.
Escalate to whatever point you desire. Remember the following:
Lots of tension = Lots of release = Expansive orgasms
What this means is that the longer you resist moving straight to the pursuit of orgasm, the more you can increase your body’s capacity to feel pleasure and release control, scripts, and self-consciousness—the threshold at which you begin to have those emotional releases, insights, and expansive experiences. Use the following strategy to further your ability to let go. Imagine your arousal on a scale from 0-10. Stimulate yourself up to about a 5 and hover there for a few minutes, and dissipate back to a 1. Then stimulate to a 6 for a few minutes, dissipating back to a 2. Then 7 to 3. By the time you move back up to an 8 in arousal, orgasm might be coming into view; ride that wave for a few minutes, and then back to a 4. Then back up to an 8.5, dissipating to 5 or 6. Move to 9, ride the energy, and drop back to 7. Take deep breaths and soften your body if you’ve started to tense up. When you’re ready, shoot back up to a 9.5—you may feel like you’re about to cum, and if you can, ride the line, dissipating back down to 8. Continue in these tiny increments up to a 9.9, hovering as long as possible in that space where orgasm is inevitable but just barely on the other side of release. When you’ve decided to move forward, shoot past 10, making lots of sound. Allow yourself to lie in the space you’ve created, savoring the subtle energy pulsations and any awarenesses/emotions/sensations that remain.
End with a brief meditation: eyes closed, right hand on heart, left hand on cock—either seated or lying down.
Debrief with yourself, maybe journaling about your experience. Or with each other if you’ve practiced with others.